This morning a client asked about my today’s blog, and I told her that I only had the title so far. She said, “That is me! I have 3 teenagers and arguing is the only way I stay alive!”
A lot of us feel like we have to argue to stay alive, I think. That wasn’t really what I had in mind, although there could be a story for each of us about extra holding and it might be different than the actual Philadelphia Lawyer that I was thinking of when I told my morning client the name of this blog.
That lawyer client was a middle-aged very successful litigator. She looked like a small banty rooster with her hackles raised up for a good fight, wearing her Armani like the knights of old. Over the course of the series, in trying to soften those hackles up, working on tissue, working on tissue so that the hackles didn’t keep grabbing her neck and creating pain, I began to imagine that she could never let go all the time, that her very future as a litigator was at stake in that “attitude”, and she needed the “attitude” to be successful.
So, I began to talk about “sometimes we can hold our bodies like this, and sometimes like that”, hoping to get her to ease up in the 16 hours she wasn’t in the courtroom. We had a little fun with it, talking about free-flow strength and bound strength, finding a look for “Plastic Man” and then Ahnold Schwartzenegger. Then we imagined and imitated the middle of the scale of holding tension: Ginger Rogers, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly. Strong but free flow, strong enough to jump on a table and keep on dancing.
She could relate to that, as she had had a youthful tap dancing skill; it was easy for her.
She looked great and felt great, the strain on her neck was gone, and she strolled out of my office with every intention of being in the middle ground of holding except when in the courtroom.
It was not to be, however. She was married to a psychologist and when she reported to him what had been worked on, he raised the roof.
She came back and said (bound strength, shoulders up), “I talked this over with my husband and he says you are supposed to Rolf me, not psychologize me.”
I said, “So he thought that was psychology, hmmmm. I would never try to override the authority of your husband, but tell him that body hurtful habits may be change-able, body hurtful armor may be change-able, especially if the soft tissue holding patterns have been worked in a structural/functional way.”
I tried not to raise my hackles when I said it.